“I am having the best time of my life.” I remember saying that to my best friend the last time I had my bachelorette party. This time, it’s the same people but a different fiancé. I am happy. I can’t believe it’s already been 3 years.
“Congratulations again!” says Jasmine.
“Thanks for throwing my 2nd bachelorette party. It’s been a long time coming. Who knew that I would be getting married again in 2 months!” I say.
“Yeah, tell me about it. I thought Noah was your first and only love forever. Look at your girls over there partying the night away. They definitely enjoyed the male stripper.” Jasmine states, “You are a lucky girl. You got married once, divorced, and immediately found another good one. I can’t even find myself one!”
“It wasn’t me. Dave found me. I wasn’t interested. He spent almost a year pursuing me while I was hung over Noah. He was very patient with me.” I say.
“Well he was very patient with you! Most men would have been gone after three months!” claims Jasmine.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right about that.” I say.
I doze off while Jasmine walks away in her 4” heels with a spring in her steps. I guess I am a lucky girl. Noah was my first love for over fifteen years! I remember the first time I saw him in my class. He was the cutest one out of all of them. He just moved from Luxembourg and didn’t speak English very well. Everyone had a crush on him since he was the new kid in school. He had a divine French accent that came out every time he tried to say something that he didn’t know. I still remember the first time we met...
I was playing tag with my friend at the time. I saw that he didn’t have any friends to talk to or play with. While I looked at him, I tripped over a rock and fell. Since I was in my favorite yellow dress, I scrapped my knees. He saw me and immediately came over to help. He introduced himself as Noah. I remembered giggling to myself. I thought to myself how strange it was that a French boy was named Noah.
“Oh...um…are you okay?” Noah asked.
I immediately blushed. “Yes, I just scrapped myself. I probably just need to wash it off and put a band aid on it.” I say.
“I help you. I am Noah. New student.” Noah says.
“Thank you, my name is Lauren.” I say.
Eliza’s laughing cuts through my thoughts. She falls and laughs. She can barely hold her liquor.
“GIRRLLLL, WHY ARE YOU JUST SITTING THERE?” yells Eliza.
I tell her, “I am just catching my breathe, we’ve been dancing and partying all night.”
Eliza slurs her words, “It’s your bachelorette party!! YOU should be the one drunk tonight.”
Eliza falls sideways onto the plush couch. She falls asleep and starts snoring loud enough to cover the sound of a dropped glass in a silent room. I guess she is out for the rest of the night. Going back to what I was thinking…
Noah asked, “I don’t speak much English. Will you help me?”
I said yes.
That was the beginning of our friendship. Over the years, we grew to like each other and we spent every day together. Turned out, he moved into that pretty white house at the end of the street with arch like fences. There were five different kinds of flowers planted in the front. It was a two-story home. His English improved significantly when I started helping him. We fell in love by the end of high school. He was my best friend and the love of my life. I always thought we would be married forever. He was always the first one to wish me happy birthday. He surprised me with daisies every single time I was sad. Wow, I miss him…
I notice a projectile of yellow stuff in my peripheral vision. I turn to my side and notice Eliza throwing up everything we had for dinner earlier. Jasmine rushes back to helps her to the restroom. The rest of the girls haven’t even noticed what happened. My sister noticed my expression and rushed over.
“Are you okay?!” Claire asks.
“Yeah, Eliza just threw up.” I say.
Claire laughs, “That Eliza can never handle liquor. She always ends up puking by the end of the night. When is she going to learn?”
I laugh, “I don’t think she will ever. I’m glad that she always enjoy herself no matter where she is though.”
Claire says, “Yeah, that’s true. So, what’s going on? I noticed you’ve been in a daze this whole time we’ve been dancing.”
I tell her, “Honestly, I’ve been thinking about Noah. It’s hard to process that this is my bachelorette party and I am getting married in two months to Dave. I always thought Noah was going to be the one and only you know?”
“I know what you mean. It’s hard.” Claire says.
I ask, “Do you think I am making a mistake?”
“I can’t tell you that. Dave is a great guy but it is up to you and how you feel about each situation. All I can say is that, I don’t think you worked things out with Noah.” says Claire. “I understand that you guys fought for some time but you left him at the end of the day. You never tried to talk to him calmly and try to figure out where it went wrong.”
It suddenly feels as if the room is frozen in place. The stillness doesn’t last long. In almost an instant, everything comes crashing down.
“I do personally think that Noah was a better man for you. But I also understand that my judgement can be skewed because I’ve also known him for as long as you met him,” Claire points out. “He was practically our neighbor and was over every single day for English lessons. I just know that Dave is a good guy and that marrying him wouldn’t be the wrong decision. Noah isn’t in the picture anymore and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“Claire, I don’t mean to cut you off but I need to go.” I say.
“Where are you going? This is YOUR bachelorette party. Where else do you have to go at this time?” Claire asks.
“I have to go figure out some stuff. I can’t be here at ease until I get my answers. I’m sorry. Please tell the girls I got sick and went home for the night. I won’t be coming back.” I say hastily.
“What do you mean you’re not coming back? You only have a bachelorette party once before you get married! The girls are here for YOU. I don’t understand.” Claire asks anxiously.
I grab my jacket and rush out the door before she can say anything else. As the cold breeze hits my face, I feel a surreal mix of anxious energy and a wave of calmness. I can’t believe I am doing this. I call an Uber and head towards Noah’s apartment. As I sit in the car, the smell of dirty leather hits my nose. The sense of calm I had before begun to waver. It’s almost as if I’m in a trance like state of mind. Thoughts are rushing through my head. I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but I need to know. I must talk to him. I won’t be able to marry Dave knowing that my marriage to Noah could have been saved. My phone has been buzzing for the past five minutes.
“Hello?” I answer.
“YOU NEED TO GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW. I ALREADY KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO GET INTO SOME TYPE OF TROUBLE.” says Claire.
“I’m going to be just fine. I need to handle this. Talk to you later.” I say.
I hang up and noticed that we have arrived at my destination. I rush up the stairs and knock. The echo of my knock pounds through the hallway as I quietly wait. The longer I wait for him to come to the door, the more my blood rushes. I knock again, the sound vibrates loudly into the walls. I realize that he isn’t home. I remember that he used to hide a spare above the wall lamp by the stairs. I notice the key’s shadow in the lamp’s light... I grab the key and let myself in.
“He isn’t home.” I say under my breathe. “I guess I will wait here for him.”
I examine the apartment and notice that nothing has changed since I left. The photo of us hasn’t moved from its tilt on the wall. The succulent that I left in the corner has grown. I hear the keys turn and I feel my blood boil. I can barely contain myself but I have to keep calm. I am afraid of what is to come…